Saturday, May 24, 2014

The Book of Me.... Written by You.... Prompt 39

This week read the prompt and record what you immediately thought of.

This week's prompt is - Do you have a safe place?

  • This can be somewhere that you gravitate to, to make decisions or reflect
  • Somewhere you go to think
  • Somewhere you go to take time out
  • Somewhere you keep things you must not loose
    • or do you have more than one safe place?
Having looked at the prompt hints have you changed that immediate thought?

My immediate thought was, my home ..... this is my safe place...
Its where I can be myself... its where I feel loved...where I can relax.

But now having more time to think, and also seeing the
other questions,   I would still say my home, but also
our church has a Temple, and there is nothing better than to go there and
sit in the quiet and just....... think...
Unfortunately I don't drive, so getting there can be a problem for me.

We have a school park very close to my house... one time I needed a time out,
and I went there.  There was no-one around and it was absolutely pouring with rain,
but I went anyway and sat on one of the benches... I got soaked to the skin, but
it was a time I needed a good cry, no-one could tell that I was crying, since
I was drenched anyway, and at that time, it was like everything I was feeling got
washed away... I love rain...

 In my home, my place to go, is my bedroom... I can put things there I don't want
to lose. I can lay on the bed and think etc.......

I think being in nature helps me to get things in the right perspective again.
So , going to the mountains is good for me.
Just going for a walk, can help me think, and can be therapeutic for me....

I get distracted easily, so I need to be somewhere where it is
semi quiet... not always easy....

I'm not sure if I'm doing this right.... but these are my feelings on it. :)


Friday, May 16, 2014

The Book of Me...... Written by You.... Prompt 38

This week's prompt is - When I grow up I want to be........

Yes, what did you want to be?
What inspired you?
Did you become what you wanted to be or did you do something different?
- was that deliberate or simply the way things worked out?
Did you follow your childhood dream and it not be at all what you though?

When I was young, I had always wanted to be a Nurse.
I wanted to work with children as a Nurse... I remember talking
about it , and mentioning it every once in awhile to my dad.
He used to tell me that I wouldn't be able to handle the sight
of blood etc.  At first I would tell him that I could, but pretty soon
I started to doubt myself. and then just figured that I couldn't do it.
My dad, bless him, didn't mean to discourage me, and I was young at
that time, so he probably figured, how could I do that.
I don't really know what inspired me to want to do that as a career, except I
liked the idea of helping people, especially children.

As it was, when I finished school, I worked at a place called Wovenair.
I sat at a sewing machine all day and sewed parts of goonies ( housecoats )
and I remember there being Army jackets at some time as well.
I didn't dislike the job, but I didn't like it much either.
I think I gave my parents half my pay packet every week.
I remember they had music playing loudly, and singing along to the different songs.

I moved to England as a Nanny... that was in 1974.
I worked outside of London in a place called Edgeware...
I worked for a family called the Cohens, and there were three children, Jonathan,
Nicole and Adam... they were a lovely family.
I can't remember how long I worked for them, but I left to work in Butlins
in a place called Minehead. I basically was doing the same thing.
I walked around and listened for children crying, so that the parents could be alerted.
I ended up back in Edgeware again, and stayed at a friend's home called Jane Reynolds,
and her daughter Tracey...  while there I managed to get a Nanny job in Toronto, Canada.
Honestly, it was hard to leave ... I had the nicest friends there, but I felt also that I had no choice,
I had nowhere else to go.

The only other jobs I've had were working for Allstate Insurance, Marks and Spencer's ( at night )
and taking care of children in my home, which I have now done for over 35 years.
So I guess the taking care of children part I did... just not as a Nurse.
I don't really have an honourable or career minded job, but I have a job that
I have helped shape lives, that even now, I look back on the many
children I have had.... and I still miss them.... a lot....

Saturday, May 10, 2014

The Book of Me.... Written by You... Prompt 37

This week's prompt is -Feeding the Ducks (Animals)

Think back to your childhood. Did you feed the ducks?
Do you remember the excitement of the event?
Were you scared of the ducks?
Who were you with?
Do you perhaps still feed the ducks?

Of course you substitute the ducks for farm animals or pets

Oh dear.... Don't remember ever feeding ducks growing up... never went
to a farm either... I have fed pigeons , or doos as we call them in Scotland,
have even fed seagulls.. hehe
Maybe I did feed ducks, but I just don't remember.. :)
I love animals though, but unfortunately, never had any growing up ... I think my
step mum didn't really care for them, at least not in the house,  so no animals
for us..

Since I've been married, we have had a LOT of animals..  birds, gerbils, hampsters,
cats, dogs and even a rabbit. ( not all at the same time ) it was good for our kids
My favourites.. we had a black cat called Midnight... such a beautiful cat.
We also had a dog... a beautiful Tri coloured Collie who was called Heidi.
She was a show dog, and she was absolutely loved.

We had a Westie called AJ ( Angus Jock )  :)
When AJ died, we said no more... we get so attached.
We went on holiday to Britain, and when we came back, our daughter
who was a resident manager at the time had someone moving into their complex.
There were no animals allowed, and she had a Bichon / Shih Tsu cross that
she couldn't bring with her.  my daughter asked us to go and have a look, so
we did... what bad shape the dog was in.. his fur was matted...but he was
so, so so friendly... we took him.
The next day we took him to the groomers and explained the situation...
when we went to pick him up, we knew how lucky we were.
His name was Kernal, and he was lovely. 
He died 2 years ago, and were devastated... he was 14.

When we first got Kernal, we went on a field trip with the children I take
care of, we went to the Pound... and there in one of the enclosures was a scared
wee dog.  She was an American Eskimo / Spaniel cross...
We put our name on a list to get her, never thinking that we would , because there
were so many names before ours... what a surprise when they called us a few
days later... everyone else had declined.. lucky us..
We had Besse until a week before Christmas last year... she was 16.
Besse and Kernal grew up together... we had them a long time, and
loved them... they were part of our family.
We wont get any more animals now...
We don't want to take care of any others..
I didn't feed ducks or farm animals etc when I was wee... I didn't
even own a pet... but as an Adult, my life was full of love
for the ones we had.

Thursday, May 8, 2014

Mother's Day...

It's Mother's Day this Sunday, and it has got me thinking ( a lot )..I've been feeling a wee bit sorry for myself ( I'll explain later )

First off... my own mum...
I was her first.. I was the first to hear her heart from the inside.
She was only 19 when she had me, so she was young.
I am thankful that she had me, I'm glad to be a part of this family...
My memories are few of her... mostly my memories are from when I was already married
and had my own children.... I love her... she's my mum..
Thankful that I could meet her again when I did.

My Step mum....  she loved me like her own..what's not to admire about that.
I am thankful to have had her in my life also..
I remember when my dad and her were not married yet..I don't know
where we were going , but we were upstairs on the bus ( double decker )
and I had ran to the front to look out of the window, they were sitting back more..
I remember calling her mum, but not loud enough for her to hear, but loud
enough for the people beside me to hear... I wanted them to know I had a mum...

My friend Stacy's mum... I called her Mom White...
She also came into my life at a time I needed someone..
I am thankful for her.... she taught me to be strong, to stick up
for what I believe in.... she didn't have to help me, but she did...

I am the mother to 4....   I have tried to be the best I could be.
Was I perfect... No
Am I perfect yet... absolutely not...
The thing is, I love my children...
Three out of the four know it, because I tell them... the fourth... I cant
write about right now, its too personal, the hurt is too deep...
I didn't do anything wrong, but things happen..

I'm crying now... for what is, and for what was...
I want to write exactly how I feel, but I'm afraid of being judged..

So, why am I feeling sorry for myself??
Because its Mother's Day coming
My husband will go to work, and wont be home till I'm in bed.
I'll cook and clean up..  it wont feel any different from any other day..
My son in the States will call ( Thankful for him )
My son here will probably say something..
2 out the 4 shouldn't be bad...right...
I'm dreading this day... I'm sorry I sound so negative.. I try to be positive, but
I'm just not feeling it..
Hope everyone has a wonderful day...

Sunday, May 4, 2014

First Sunday in May

When I was just a wee girl in Scotland.. the first Sunday in May was special...
We all got new clothes.
My Gran bought me a new sticky out dress, a coat, or a nice cardigan, a hat with the
elastic that went under my chin, and was uncomfortable..  hehe  ,white gloves and
white or black patent shoes.
I had actually forgotten about this, but my friend's talented husband wrote a poem
Here it is...
When I read it, it brought back loads of memories..
And of course, today is the first Sunday in May as well...
Its funny the things that spark of your memory... but its good :)
I always had a ribbon in my hair as well, but usually lost it ...
I'm sure I have a photo, but will have to find it
Happy First Sunday in May...

The Book of Me.... Written by You... Prompt 36

This week's prompt is - Your Year
This week the prompt is in two parts:
Think back over your life. Which year was “your year” in terms of happy, special and treasured events?
Think back over your life. Which year was absolutely not “your year”
Thing in terms of health, wealth, happiness or a degree of sadness, back luck and years when you simply wish you could go back and relive or redo something.

My year... Hmmm... maybe years ??  I think we all have different years where there's
so many happy moments..
For example.... the year I went to Oban...I can't remember how old I was, but I remember
how beautiful it was, and it has stayed with me till this day..

But even happier than that was when I went to England to work... 1974
A lot of my happiest moments were there.
It was my first time being away from home, so I was scared, I was only 18, but
I had good friends there, some I already knew, but some I made.
 The lady in the centre was Sis Hine... we went to help her with her house... even
though it was hard work, to this day, I still remember the fun that we had. I'm
in the back with my hand over Daniel's head

We all went to Trafalger Square... 
Such fun and happy times... there are others that for some reason I don't have
in my pictures, but I wish I did, but they are in my memories  :) also
in my heart... forever..
Of course there are other very happy years... the birth of each of my children, or when
we adopted my daughter who was a teenager at that time... but for some reason
when I think happy, I think Wembley... I reminisce, and wish I could re live that time.

The ( unhappy ) years... Hmmm...  1977 is one... its when I found out something
that I don't personally want to share...  another is 1988
My Father died... it took me awhile to get over..
1993... the day my brother and his daughter died.. also very hard..
There are other instances that I also wont share.

But actually, I feel like I've had a happy life so far... its better to dwell on the
good times... bad times ( years ) make you appreciate the good ones even more. :)


Saturday, May 3, 2014

The Book of Me...... Written by You.... Prompt 35

Did you have Aunts and Uncles?
Did you know any of your Great Aunts and Uncles?
Did you have people that you called Aunt and Uncle, yet there was no blood connection at all?

In fact, does that even matter?
So this week, tell us about those people whose names appear within our family history and perhaps you even had a favourite or two?

Yes I had Aunts and Uncles... I didn't know the ones on my Mum's side until much
later, but I did know most from my Dad's side...

My uncle George and Aunt Cathy
I am thankful for them... they took my brother and sister in, helping my dad
out at that time... my sister ending up staying, but when my dad remarried, my
brother came and lived with my dad, step mum and I.
My Uncle Andrew and Aunt Margaret

I didn't really know them, although when I was real little, I had gone down
to see them.  They lived in Edinburgh.  I later found my Aunt, and was
able to communicate with her again... my uncle had already passed away
at that time.

My Uncle David and Aunt Agnes

I don't have a picture of my aunt Agnes..

When my dad moved back to Greenock with my brother, sister and I, my
dad and I stayed at my grandparents, at that time my uncle David also
lived there... he wasn't married, in fact, he didn't marry until much later.
My aunt Agnes I don't really know, but I wish I did.
My Uncle David was lovely.. he was good to me when I stayed at my
grandparents.. I find myself wishing that I had've thanked him.

My Aunt Helen and Uncle Jimmy

I loved them..  I used to visit often with my Gran.
I remember my uncle Jimmy as always smiling or joking, and my
aunt Helen was just lovely. My dad always told me that he thought I looked like my aunt Helen,
but actually I really think I resemble my Mum. :)

My uncle Willie and Aunt Agnes
I don't have any pictures of my aunt Agnes
I also didn't know them too well...  what I do remember was I liked them..
Its funny how I can remember certain feelings, but not always events
My Aunt Lily and uncle Jim
I cant find a picture of my aunt Lily
I don't remember a lot about them either.... I wish I started doing my life history
earlier... maybe my memory would be a lot better... :)

My Mum's side is a bit more complicated... actually, a lot more.
I didn't know them at all until I was older, and even then not really knew them.
What I did know I loved though.

My Uncle Gordon and Aunt Doris

LOVELY !!  They were so good to me, I can never thank them enough.
They showed me around Brisbane etc, and I was so happy to meet them.
I heard stories about my grandparents because of them, and also
copied some pictures... things I would never have for my family history, so
I am more than thankful to them.

My Uncle Ally
I didn't meet him, but he was so good at writing and keeping in touch.
He always wrote and told me what was going on in his life.

Uncle James and Aunt Helen
They were also so good to me when I visited them for the first time.
My aunt has a heart of gold, and my uncle.. I remember they all teased him
about being grumpy... but he is a lovely man.. :)

Uncle Tom and Aunt Mary
My uncle died in Australia... a motorbike accident, I think...
My aunt is still there... I don't have any photo's of them.. I wish I did
As far as great aunts and uncles is a picture of my
some of my grandfather's brother's and sister's.

At the back from left to right is George and Fred, and in the front there is
Jean and Mary.  I was in touch with 3 out of the 4,  George really had an
interesting life, and he really loved to travel.  He was a spitfire pilot in the
war.  He was awarded the DCM medal for which he was really proud.
Fred was involved big time with boy scouts... was in the different plays etc
that they did, or he helped organise them... here is another picture of
him with his uniform

Mary lived in Dumfries, and always wrote the most newsy letters.. I sure am
thankful and also feel lucky to have been able to be in contact with them.